I’m Back?

I know that some of you must be wondering where I have been since January 2nd.  I am not really sure.  I lost almost 4 blog months and I don’t know how.  Sure, there were things I did like going to Seattle to handle the death of my mother-in-law, visiting our best friends in Arizona, doing the whole Easter season thing, broncitus, pneumonia… but, I didn’t blog. I didn’t even read them.

It’s like I was abducted by aliens who replaced my brain with an alien one that didn’t understand the importance of blogging and then maybe the government noticed and wondered if we were being invaded or something so they gave me my brain to throw off the CIA or FBI or CNN or some organization like that. And here I am.

It could’ve happen!

Sad News

Sunday I had to drive my wife to the airport so that she could go and see her mom. We had received a call from the hospital in Seattle that she had taken a turn for the worst and would not make it more than a few days. Bonnie died last night.

Although they were never really close, I could hear sorrow in my wifes voice when she called to tell me. Both her parents and her sister are now gone. Nan is feeling that aloneness. I will be going out on the 8th for 10 days to be with her and so we can put things in order.

Please pray for her comfort and for safety in our travels.

Vacation

It’s time and I’m taking it! Nan and I will be gone until the 4th.

Dylan Concert

I am a huge Bob Dylan fan (especially the early stuff) and I just got back from seeing him at the Ryan Center at the University of Rhode Island. His band was incredible but he was… well let me put it this way, I would have loved to see that band with a Dylan impersonator. Maybe then it would have given me the Dylan experience I was looking for. He however seemed to not care that the audience couldn’t recognize his songs or make out the lyrics. I hate it when he crunches his lyrics into short unintelligible grunts. He sounded like “Gollum sings Dylan” to me. Although I felt this way, the rest of the audience seemed to be having a good time, although many left early. Elvis Costello performed solo and was amazing as he used all four guitars he had on stage. Each one sounded great and worked in the various styles he did. I had never heard of Amos Lee (he opened) and he was wonderful. I could have listened to him all night.

Water or Coke?

I don’t remember where I got this from but it is informative for sure.

We all know that water is important but I’ve never seen it written down like this before.

WATER
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
(Likely applies to half world population)
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often
mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost
100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could
significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory,
trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen
or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less
likely to develop bladder cancer.
Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?

COKE
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of
Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the
“real thing” sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes
stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca- Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

For Your Info
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bone and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use
the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or a coke?

Gone

I am on a men’s retreat this week and won’t be communicating till Monday.

Victor Wooten Amazing Grace

This is rediculous. I’ve seen him do this in person and came away foaming at the mouth.

Getting to the Truth

I find myself often fantasizing about changes in our governmental process. For the past few months we have had to endure a variety of debates, interviews and commercials with the presidential candidates. This of course will be continuing for the next year. As usual, it is hard to pin down the truth about what any of these people believe. They use the media to make their points and want us to live with sound bites that have been written for them by others. There game is create a perception rather than know the truth.

Here is my fantasy for change.
When an individual comes into a political race they should be required to write a position paper with question formulated by an independent, bipartisan group of regular Americans (no politicians or journalists allowed). These question would cover a wide variety of the current concerns of our nation. An alloted amount of words would be assigned to each question with some or all requiring a “yes” or “no” response with explanation. Once completed, the position paper, along with a resume, list of accomplishments and voting record (if one exists) of the candidate, would be sent to every residence in the US. If the candidates voting record and current position disagree an added statement of explanation would be attached.
In this way a candidate would be forced to state their position and every American would have the opportunity to know it.

Then let the debates happen. But how about real debates? Having given their positions on paper they could now have true debates with each defending their positions against the other. Let them talk to each other…pleeeeeease!

Well, I can dream can’t I?

Thanks for the Jabber

I wrote this many years back as a tribute to Lewis Caroll whose nonsense always made sense to me.

A KNIGHTS TALE
by David B. Klampert copyright 2007

Blumbercharge bent his brittle trudge while seeped in Sollittilien Groob.
He bent it back, and so it flew beyond the loftering heights of Hue.
Beyond the loftering heights of Hue.

It landed deep in Drasmadine and toppled crops of cowlifloor.
It left a hole eight prats and four which formed a pool named Ballipour
It formed a pool named Ballipour.

In Ballipour arose a slauf whose eyes closed queerly as he roared.
His fearful frohd was underscored with qualindere and blundiford.
With qualindere and blundiford.

Such gems of choice, such true choice gems
on slaufs coarse frohd, his outer skin,
did underneath the gems run thin, exposing soft, clear unterfin.
Exposing soft, clear unterfin.

And so came he, the naigle knight, to kill a slauf and earn his bride,
his strappled spear beside him tied to saddle sporn of trundlehide.
To saddle sporn of trundlehide.

He camped beside dark Ballipour and waited there throughout the night.
Then dawn arose in plentry light with still no slauf this Knight to fight.
With still no slauf this Knight to fight.

And days frode on to months, then years,
while time’s march touched our toilient knight.
His quest still firm, but not his sight, caused him to miss his slauf in flight.
Caused him to miss his slauf in flight.

The slauf returned in latter yayes and found the knight beyond deaths door.
Face down fell he to rise no more, he came to rest in Ballipour.
He came to rest on said pools floor.

Search not my son for slaufs to fight. Seek not to earn or prove your love.
For slaufs can fly just like a dove, but knights cannot. Good night my love.
No knights cannot, good knight, my love.

The Ring That Went Full Circle

The other day Lori (a church member) told me a story that I thought was really cool. Is it cool to say cool anymore? Anyway, I thought it would bless some of you, so I asked her to write it down. Here it is…

When I was about 16, my parents knew they would be divorcing, and my mom knew that she would be relocating us from our home in Naperville, IL to her hometown of Lowell, MA. I would start my junior year of high school in a new city, in a new state. Knowing that, mom gave me the choice of which school I wanted to get a class ring from. I chose Naperville.

Not long after moving, I lost the ring. I don’t remember loosing it, or even when I knew it was missing. I was a swimmer in high school, and could have lost it anywhere since I was active on 3 swim teams; the Lowell High team, the YMCA and the Boys and Girls Club.

Fast forward 24+ years. My sister called me after she returned home from a visit. She told me when she got home, she felt compelled to check an e-mail account that she doesn’t use anymore. When she did, she found she received an e-mail from one of her old high school friends, urgently telling her to open the attachment sent with the e-mail. When she did, she discovered a message that had been posted on an internet group page set up for the alumni of Naperville Central High School. The poster said they had a class ring from my year that they thought might belong to me. My sister forwarded to me the e-mail, so that I could follow up with the person who posted the message.

I e-mailed the person right away, and she responded just as quickly. She told me she had no idea how she came to have the ring, but regardless, it had been in a basket in her house for years. She knew that the ring came from a school in another state, so she right away asked if I had ever been to Massachusetts, specifically Lowell, or maybe Cape Cod. I was stunned when I read that e-mail. I replyed to her e-mail excited and convinced that the ring was in fact mine. I told her that yes, I had been to Lowell, as a matter of fact I actually graduated from Lowell High School. We exchanged phone numbers, and I called her the next day.

Shauna explained to me that last fall, she suddenly felt driven to find the owner of the ring. She did a little research, and found the Naperville Central alumni group site. She sent an e-mail to every person on the alumni list and got 2 responses back, one of which suggested my name. She then applied to become a member of the group even though she isn’t part of that alumni so that she could search for the owner of the ring. She posted her message, which was seen by my sisters friend. My sister’s friend passed the message on to my sister, and the rest is history!

Shauna and I learned quite a bit about each other in a very short time. She had always lived in Lowell, and graduated from a private school 3 years ahead of me. She had a family that included twin daughters that are currently seniors at Lowell High School. Her daughters are swimmers active on 3 teams, the Lowell High team, the YMCA and the Boys and Girls Club.

I don’t think either of us will ever really know how the ring ended up in a basket in her house. But we both know how it ended up back on my finger! (Yes, it still fits!)